Ever Increasing Circles (developing children's Emotional Regulation using Circle Times)

 

Cat Jolleys   catjolleys.com

Back in 2013, when I had hardly any grey hair and couldn't even spell perimenopause, I went on some Restorative Circle Time training, aimed at developing emotional regulation in the children in my class. I immediately loved the idea but thought 'when do I fit this in?' and 'do I do this after every conflict in my Y6 class?' and 'the caretaker is going to kill me if I move the furniture around again.' However, my school were really investing in this approach, so I got on board and...have never looked back.

Circles (or Circle Times) to teach curricular content or respond (react) to conflict, have long been the norm in many Early Years classrooms across the world, but for me, their real magic lies in using them proactively, to develop emotional literacy in children of all ages, even (whisper it) in secondary schools. Using a Circle to focus on a specific behaviour, value, emotion, experience or need, or to model emotional articulacy, unpicking emotions and feelings and listening to and observing the skills of identifying and labelling their own emotions, is the key to developing emotional regulation and an integral part of a Trauma-Informed approach.

Children who rarely have the opportunity to co-regulate with adults at home, or who have experienced Trauma, often struggle to identify their emotions and don't know what will trigger them, nor how to anticipate them or what to do when they arrive and overwhelm them. Explicitly teaching the skills of e.g. where in my body do I feel that? Can I describe what it feels like? What other names do we have for that feeling? When might we get that feeling? Does everyone else experience this? What can we do to help next time we get that feeling? will all help develop emotional literacy. Emotionally regulated children can learn, cooperate, communicate, engage with and access the curriculum and achieve in ways children who are regularly dysregulated, struggle to. Imagine if we sent all Y6 off to secondary school with this ability to know and articulate their feelings and what to do when they had them? These emotionally regulated children would be unrecognisable from the dysregulated children we often see in detention, isolation, in fights or just not coming to school. Mentally Well Schools explain how we often see anger, and immediately react negatively, when actually there could well be many other causes:

Home - Mentally Well Schools

Research is increasingly finding an integral link between emotions and learning. Emotions are inherently linked to and influence cognitive skills such as attention, memory, executive function, decision-making, critical thinking, problem-solving, and regulation, all of which play a key role in learning. 

A recent study in the USA of an estimated 1 million students accessing regular SEL (social, emotional learning) programmes found outcomes which were consistently statistically significant across a range of outcomes including increased SEL skills, attitudes, prosocial behaviours, and academic achievement, and decreased conduct problems and emotional distress 

What we know, and what we need to find out about universal, school-based social and emotional learning programs for children and adolescents: A review of meta-analyses and directions for future research. (apa.org) 

At my last school (where a large number of children had experienced Trauma and adversity and were regularly in a state of dysregulation, impacting on their learning and that of those around them) I banged on about Circles so much, we made them a Monday morning non-negotiable. Every class did their Circle at the same time, after break (so that any latecomers didn't miss out) and so that the whole school had a palpable air of focus on communication skills and emotional literacy. It was nothing less than a joy to pop into Reception class and witness 4 year olds (lots with EAL who didn't speak English at home) confidently talking about their feelings of worry, confusion and fear, whilst up in Y6, there were children articulating their anxiety and concerns around SATs, transition to high school and even Global events.

Why bother?

The UK Primary school day is jam packed and teachers can barely fit in the core subjects, so giving over an hour a week to feelings, is a challenge. However, if we want our children (particularly those who may have EAL or are new to the UK school system) to engage fully with learning and achieve, we need their verbal skillsets to be prioritised. Some recent research by the Bell Foundation found: Speaking English as an Additional Language combined with refugee status is a key factor in absence from mainstream classrooms Speaking English as an Additional Language combined with refugee status is a key factor in absence from mainstream classrooms, charity warns. - The Bell Foundation (bell-foundation.org.uk)

The opportunity for children new to English to listen to others fluently speaking English and be supported to do the same, in a safe and enjoyable setting, can help children's verbal skills immensely.

Empathy and community

As we go around a circle and children listen, contribute and reflect on others' comments, the building of empathy is inevitable. A Y6 class I taught last year had a very pronounced boy:girl divide and a real lack of understanding or interest in each other. Planning a series of circles around events of common interest e.g. their thoughts and feelings on moving to high school, a recent fire in the local area and wider concerns around Global Warming, meant they had the opportunity to hear similar and differing viewpoints and reflect on similar apprehensions they all shared, thus narrowing the empathy gap. Whilst they didn't all go off skipping and holding hands into the sunset, the respect and understanding was evident where I saw phrases from the previous Circle being repeated and even some children pointing out what another had said and how they agreed with it. The resultant reduction in conflict and a more harmonious class, by Summer term, was obvious and saved sooo much learning time we'd previously lost to resolving conflict. This just wouldn't have happened if we hadn't given the time over to these Circles.

Upskilling

A well run Circle provides a perfect opportunity to model and guide children in terms of equipping them with tools to agree and disagree respectfully, listen and reflect, become aware of non-verbal communication (of themselves or others) and the ability to take turns to speak and not dominate airtime. Most teachers quickly understand who are the more confident speakers and who need encouragement to contribute verbally in a group. Whilst a Circle can prove challenging for some more reticent speakers*, the expectation of equity, establishment of safety and lack of judgement fosters a sense of shared community where all contributions are welcomed and no one voice should be heard more than anyone else's. Including mine. This is a very challenging aspect for most verbally unconstipated teachers like me, but so important if we are going to shift the dynamic from listening passively and absorbing, to actively reflecting, contributing and learning from each other. Surely the benchmark of good learning.   A circle where the teacher or other children can model the language of repair and solving conflict - creating a shared toolbox of language and approaches and strategies to help us when we meet conflict or challenge is invaluable. I remember last year's Y6 quickly picking up phrases such as 'I respectfully disagree with you there, I think....' when they'd have previously deployed an arsenal of disrespectful eye rolling, tutting, looking away or at others to encourage a smirk, all aimed at belittling and shutting down the person they disagreed with. Now, they had the skills to voice their disagreement and put forward their argument - the empowerment they felt was clear.

*a note on reluctant contributors

I think a great way for staff to understand and empathise with less confident speakers, is to do staff meetings in a Circle. Awaiting your time to speak and becoming aware of your sweaty palms and dry mouth, gives you the experience many children have in Circles. Whilst I've seen many staff avoid this by letting students 'pass', I personally like to be more creative, as in an unsafe Circle, a 'pass' can become contagious and the result is you and the 'chatty ones' left as the only voices heard with everyone else disengaged, bored and not getting much from the whole experience. One option is to start the process with very small, unthreatening 'mini Circles' (in staff meetings and in the classroom) where the only expectation is to respond with a low stakes, single word answer eg. Which is best Maths or English? (avoid the Utd or City type questions at first, to keep things safe and calm!) Then, as trust and community builds, so does safety and hopefully, anxiety around speaking begins to decrease. Another method I use, is to explicitly talk about how some of us will be feeling worried about contributing, whilst some won't. 'If we are going around the Circle and your time is getting near but you don't know what to say - copy someone else's answer, no-one will know.' A third approach, particularly useful for neurodivergent children or those with SEN, or children who easily become overstimulated, anxious or their executive functioning skills may impair their memory, so their amazing answer has just deserted them by the time it gets round to them, is to write the questions you might ask on the board first thing in the morning. Explicitly refer to them and give them time to ponder their views over playtime etc. maybe even provide some post-its for scribbled notes to aid memory and boost confidence. Having a trusted talk partner (or Teaching Assistant) who will relay a child's thoughts to the rest of the Circle, can be a great idea in some instances and even as a last resort letting someone know you're going to give them more time and either come back to them or let everyone know their thoughts later in the day, when they've had longer to reflect can provide a bit of breathing space for the very anxious.
I've taught some very reluctant speakers over the years (including a boy with selective mutism whose body language and non-verbal communication and these strategies, enabled him to be an active participant in every Circle) but have never once had a complete lack of contribution from anyone. There's always a way to include everyone in a safe Circle.

Circles create soothing space, where even reticent people can realize that their voice is         welcome    Margaret J. Wheatley

Circles need to be planned, done regularly, consistently, with confidence and not reactively to a recent conflict, where tensions are still simmering. In my view, a well planned series of Circles aimed at developing emotional literacy and regulation, are worth the hour spent and ask the children, as long as they're not a re-enactment of a courtroom drama with staff trying to work out who said what and whether the Reverend was in the library with a candlestick, and as long as they include fun and are fast paced and safe for everyone - they love them!   

Get in touch if you'd like to find out more about how to run great Circles for emotional regulation, as part of a whole school relational approach, in primary children.

Cat Jolleys  catjolleys.com